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16 Mar 2008   01:29:47 am
Another Day
I write this because I want to see whats going on with me lately.
Yesteday, I spent the day just walking around
not thinking much and not really depressed,
just kind of quiet and a little bored.

I know I will be quite busy I think next week
with a moderetly heavy trial calendar.
.I wonder how things will turn out...
and I worry that the results may not be good..

but I really don't know how anything will turn out...
not really. In fact, I never know how anything will turn out...

but I'd prefer not to be worring about it..but I do..
however, I have so many positive things stored
in my mind and brain...
it helps a lot...I remain basically philosophical about all of it...

yet, there is that human worry response too...
I have about 10 more work days until I go
on vacation to Spain for two months..
will I get bored there?...
I wonder...yet, again,

I dont know how anything will turn out
and certainly dont know how I will actually be...
and feel tomorrow or the next day...

its all so up for grabs in this life....
that's the nature of it...
all uncertain in outcomes....

am I alright with that?...basically yes I am...
a very mixed bag this existence...
up and down and all around....

this morning..I am feeling that feeling again....
open...uncertain...putting one foot in front of the other..
as I move through this morning...this life...

I dont have a partner right now...
and put no effort into finding one...
it seems like it would be at least
in part another unpleasant chore...
having to withstand their humanity
as it differs with mine...

I'm trying to think of what I would like to do,
you know, something special, but I cant think
of anything right now...

ok, so I'm a little excited about
the new furniture ariving tomorrow...
it will be nice to have some
lovely things in my little home...

it is also very very nice that my son
steven is coming to live with me...

My mind is so soft and with a tinge
of uncertainty about the days to come...
I'm worried about the last week here
when I have some big trials coming up...
how will I be?....
I just dont know and never do,

but somehow,lots of really wonderful
things happen in my trial work...
mysteries....

that last trial in Fresno
was very difficult for me...
it just seemed so hard and tough...
I got very tired...very, very tired....
yet, like everything else...
days later I knew that everything just fits..
How is that??

my client was just terrific in understanding
that while we lost the case
it was going to be allright anyway...

just another bump on the roada of life,
and come to think of it, whatever happens
these next few trial weeks...
it too will just be another
bump on the road at the worst of it...

and wonderful things can and will happen too!...
its just so mysterious the way things turn out
and its also mysterious how I "turn out"..
somehow every day I do

Yet more bumps on the road..
thats the very worst of it...
wow, that is a very comforting thought !
You know? Its all just bumps on the road...

I'm very glad showed up on this page....
that is a wonderful relief..a kindness
.
my clients are not executed or sent to prison
or anything like that...
just points on their license and
another bump on the road of their life and my life....
that's all there is too it!!!

I feel so much better already!
thanks for the revelation of this writing..
thank you hands for typing this out for me..
I am very very gratefull...

well that's it for now...
thank you again stanleys hands and fingers...
for having typed this out for me to know!~!
Category : All of it is making me up | Posted By : Stanley | Comments[813] | Trackbacks [0]
03 Mar 2008   03:27:53 pm
earnest holmes quotes
The Way of the Beloved

One who loves himself unconditionally does not love in degrees or with strings attached. He does not search for someone special to love.

He loves everyone and everything that stands before him. One person is no more worthy or unworthy of his love than another. This is the love the friend offers to you.

Take it and be free and loving in the world. When you experience this unconditioned love you are no longer separate from the world, you are the world loving itself. Your identity no longer pushes people away..You are them, you are one with everything and everyone..of course, didn’t you know this?

You came in one and you will leave one...so why wait for oneness? Hummmm?

I have a faith, a conviction, an assurance that cannot be moved, for I am established in a love which envelops everything I contact and every person I meet.

I have a friend who knows all my needs. I accept the kingdom which God had implanted in me. This life I lead reaches out to everything around me, in joy and gladness.

With the blessed assurance that all is well. Believing that God in Love, I affirm that I am love also, for how could it be otherwise for I am a child of this God of everything. I affirm that there is nothing in me that could hurt or harm or hinder those around me, and when I do, I quickly remember and make my fondest amends forthwith and instantly.

Those here with me will enter into the fullness of their own joy, into the completeness of their own self expression and lessons along the way into the fullness of their own being..Ernest Holmes and Stan Alari
Category : All of it is making me up | Posted By : Stanley | Comments[609] | Trackbacks [0]
 
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